It's never too late.

And I mean flushed in the non-bathroom sort of way

Weighing my pockets with stones of longing

Especially when those days are Saturday and Sunday.

They always come crawling back

Today I ate about a million and one pieces of candy/chocolate. And a sub at Big Mike's.

Today is a good day. I stayed in my room, naked, trying to keep cool, half sleeping, half daydreaming, sometimes reading or sketching something, always hiding from the painters (who I later realized were outside my window, woops) until about 2:30 p.m. I am proud of myself! I woke up twice with a bug crawling on me though. That was too bad.

I took a shower and was all clean and happy when I went to work and I made Evan all uncomfortable by being weird and it was funny. He's a funny guy, that Evan. And Hillary said she was going to visit me because we chatted around noon, but she got distracted by all the cute boys downtown. Speaking of cute boys! She has run into Sean Voigt of all people every day this week and she says he's still adorable. Wouldn't THAT be awkward if I saw him? Sheesh. I guess I could try and be all confident but I know I'd lapse back into weirdo scaredy-cat high school Allison like I did when I saw Nate and the gang on the 4th of July. Some self-conscious part of me wishes they could just see me being NORMAL for once. Theo wrote me the best e-mail yesterday because I wrote him the best e-mail the day before that. I really need to get on sending him those photos. Anyway, so Hill didn't visit me so I listened to Bow Wow Wow and wrote a letter to Sierra which was super fun. And my register was perfect, yet again! YAY for me. I Still haven't seen Phil, so I made myself a 3-dollar present in the form of a half-pound box of pecan caramel patties, milk toasted coconut clusters, chocolate stars, a mini-toblerone, chocolate almonds, and if we'd had milk chocolate pretzels it would have been perfect with all of my favorite chocolate things. Ah well, I can get some later. It's still really good and I appreciate myself for appreciating myself. Right as I finished closing, Tara and Zoe came to get me. How great! They were much better than that crazy stalker boy from last week. So we went out to Coral Ridge Mall because Zoe didn't hear Tara and me whining about how we hadn't had dinner yet. We shopped at Dillards, which I politely refused because of their crappy racist policies, then at Younkers. I tried on crazy dresses and a wacky outfit the girls picked out for me (with the "Susie's Crab House" t-shirt that I almost got in honor of my roommate) and they said I looked hot, and I felt good about my appearance. Woopee! Now I want to sew lots of clothes just like the ones at the store. I should eventually get some underwear, but I think I'll wait till Mom can pay for it! Dad is somewhere out of town doing something for work. Surprise.

Zoe came back to my house when the mall closed after buying her bathing suit top and after Tara and I were done cracking jokes about how enormous her breasts are getting and she was done beating us up. And after we went to dinner at Big Mike's and sang Beatles songs with the happy boy behind the counter with the very clean mat. I returned her Harry Potter videos and lent her "La Boum." We chatted with Kim from Saigon, talked about cancer and depression and sexuality, and designed clothes. An all-round good time. I like Zoe a lot.

I just went outside because I heard some crazy loud bass thumping through the house and thought someone was parked in the driveway. I saw them drive down the road and heard them on side streets all the way up Kyle and down Prairie du Chien, but they never came back. I pranced around in the street looking at my shadows for a while--it's beautiful outside, although (Thank God!) a little chilly. Part of me hoped they would come back and be crazy people who want to hang out with me, but alas. I am back inside, watching an Elvis in Acapulco movie and trying to design a new skirt. This is the summer of ZIPPERS!!!

I would really like it if someone read this and wrote to me because I am lonely. Well, I'm content, but company is always nice, eh? Will check in later...

Thursday night relapse at 11:53 p.m.