It's never too late.

And I mean flushed in the non-bathroom sort of way

Weighing my pockets with stones of longing

Especially when those days are Saturday and Sunday.

They always come crawling back

George W. Bush is a boob.

boob!

That is my favorite palindrome next to Hannah.

I know this girl named hannah who's a total babe and we have a date tomorrow to make money off of innocent people.

Today I predicted that New Mexico was having freak blizzards, and I was right. I kick ass. I am the smartest woman alive. I am totally serious! I mean, I rollerskate, I'm hip, but I am damn smart too.

Boom shacka-lacka!

Here is a story.

Once I signed online while my dad was putting papers away in the same room as the computer. When I connected to the internet, this story popped up about top ten things men should not do in a romantic relationship. I was reading them and one of them made me laugh out loud. It said:

"On valentine's day or anniversaries, don't just buy your girl mountains of gifts like fine candies and pricy jewellery. Too many and expensive gifts are the equivalent of an emotional comb-over." My dad asked why I was laughing and so I read him that passage. He looked over my shoulder and said, "What's a comb-over?" and I looked at his comb-over and felt really awful.

Can you believe it, that story is true!

I think I should have a dinner plate and a bowl instead of palms because then I would never have to do dishes again. Just wash my hands and GOODBYE DINNER!

Today I saw a guinea pig with longer hair than my sister and also a peahen that decided to be a peacock when it was 14 years old and science has never heard of a natural sex change in peacocks before but they said nature is full of surprises.

do you ever not go to the bathroom when you really have to just because you know it will feel that good when you finally do?

Okay, I just saw the cutest thing! It was this baby godzilla who was really ugly but it was riding on the daddy godzilla's tail like a tree frog on a branch and it was so ridiculously adorable...

Wake up! You might be sleeping!

I'm glad I don't have jutty eyebrows.

Hum de dum dum. Hoo-ah hoo-ah!

Kirk out.

"Chlamydia: A Billion Years of Solitude" at 1:43 a.m.