It's never too late.

And I mean flushed in the non-bathroom sort of way

Weighing my pockets with stones of longing

Especially when those days are Saturday and Sunday.

They always come crawling back

I just got back from working with my educational studies group on our progress report. We were all pretty giggly, so that was fun, but Maurice had to go and tell the story about me being too quiet when introducing myself to the high school class, blah blah... I almost said something about him confessing to me that he felt like a pedophile being around all the hot high school girls but I decided to give him a break since I'm nice like that. I got to use the phrase "flogging the glass" and I felt clever.

Earlier tonight I watched the lunar eclipse with Robyn and Sierra. It was incredible. I purged all of my guilt and stress for a moment when the moon was covered. I also rolled down the hill by Bell field twice--it was awesome, and I earned myself a good bruise on my left thigh and a cut chin. My shins feel really sore from all the walking/running/dancing I've been doing this week.

Have watched too much Sealab. Eating too much cookie dough. Am now out of macaroni and cheese.

Theo's parents are in town; I wonder how nervous I'll be around them. Hopefully my embroidered thank-you note has put me on his mom's good side, at least.

Speaking of Theo... I skipped EDUC on Wednesday and I was all about getting up early today to prepare for all my classes, but no. I was having this incredibly great dream about being with Theo and I slept right through Latin. I must've gotten like 12 hours of sleep. Right now I really would like to do that again.

I got a postcard from my sister today with a picture of the 1948 doughnut queen. It was really cute and nice. I think she might be lonely.

I haven't had the nerve to talk to any of my friends from home and I'm worried they'll abandon me. But I really feel too stressed to start talking to them because then I'll have to talk for a long time and give details and catch up and all the work is intimidating. I know my friends are more than worth it, but is it wrong for me to want to just let myself settle before tackling that relationship stuff? Urgh this doesn't sound like me and it makes me sad. Friends used to be so effortless.

I'm still feeling a little weird after all my illnesses and stress (the WC still hasn't called me back) and that little self-harm fiasco. I put a spell on my bed though, so after sleeping I've felt consistently better. I'm proud of my powers. :)

I should stop this entry and work on my french presentation, maybe my latin, maybe try to get the edweek page to load. Joe is talking to me; I'm still in kind of a quandary about what to think of his friendship. Not that that's a really pressing issue...

I've been thinking a lot about sewing a period costume (corset and all) and writing a story about my highschool experience (slightly finctionalized, of course). I shouldn't be thinking about these things because they just breed more unproductive reflection. I'm not even so sure it's healthy for me to be going back over the Alex stuff but I feel kind of like that might clean it out a little bit? I don't know. Part of me just wants to read reviews and get some insight, if I ever feel it reaches that kind of posting caliber.

Anyway, I'm off to non-sleepy academic trodding.

Love to all,

Allison

P.S. I got into the Mali program. Can I believe it? not really. Am I excited? hell yes. Cherif is my new advisor, holy cow.

Thoughts before work at 12:33 a.m.