It's never too late.

And I mean flushed in the non-bathroom sort of way

Weighing my pockets with stones of longing

Especially when those days are Saturday and Sunday.

They always come crawling back

Another gorgeous day in the neighborhood; nearly 70 degrees, mostly sunny, with strong, warm winds. I took Boo for a walk and he was really nice to me except when he laid down in the middle of the street and wouldn't move. For twenty minutes. I danced around that dog for a good while, making a pretty spectacular fool of myself for all the people I saw looking out their windows before he decided to move. He laid down twice more before we made it home. The only reason he really went back was because he saw my mom's car pull into the driveway and he likes her. But I really can't blame him; it was great being outside.

So after I dropped him off I hollered to Mom that I'd be back eventually and went back out. Assuming no one had bought the Peterson's old house, I went in search of the trusty ol' forest entrance of my youth in their backyard. It was there, a little overgrown. I spent some time just wandering the old paths, looking for those vaguely familiar islands and hangouts, the coyote den, whatnot. Any evidence that I'd been there so much when I was younger. No such luck. But it was a beautiful day, and besides a few thorn scratches I felt pretty invigorated being out there again. I wasn't too surprised, maybe a little disappointed, that everything seemed so much smaller than it used to be. Feeling bigger than maybe I should, I decided in the name of adventure to jump the creek at a particularly wide spot, going from a higher ledge to what looked like some rocks. Those rocks actually turned out to be mud covered in dead leaves. Let it be said that I made a soft landing, but I was pretty filthy by the time I made it back home.

I stripped and conducted a preliminary hose-down in the yard before scampering into the house, trusting I could sneak up to my room fast enough to avoid being caught and get my laundry underway. My dad made me thin pancakes for dinner. I can never eat enough of those...

Spent the rest of the evening vegetating in front of the tv, eating creative things I dug out of the kitchen and daydreaming. Rather nice, really.

I enjoy how everyone on the disney channel wears helmets.

I went outside to look at the moon, but the sky was covered in slate-colored clouds. Even at 1:00 in the morning, the horizon was still pink. It smelled like Ely out there.

I got invited out to lunch by Mr. Twinkle Fingers for some time in the future... We'll see how that happens. I got an e-mail from Zoe and she said to write back. Uplifting words.

I'm worried about Suzy. Wonder what Sierra's doing...

Tomorrow I plan on practicing leaving my hair down. Maybe I will call Hillary and see how her wisdom-teeth-removal went today. Maybe I will rollerskate, or dance with the door open listening to Vivaldi and dying shaving cream with food coloring. Who can say?

Last night I dreamt that I was in the basement with Hillary, Tara, and Zoe. We were looking at these old notebooks I had written in and playing old records from when I was little. I got really angry at them for reading before I did, I think because I was afraid they would see something I didn't want them to laugh at or make me think about. I remember noticing the old Mickey Mouse calculator on a shelf in the corner and pointing it out to them.

Tonight while I was blobbing around my mom came into the den carrying that Mickey Mouse calculator. She said, "This thing is great; the buttons are really easy to push and the numbers are big and easy to see." I kind of freaked out, seeing it.

My bed is on the floor. I like flopping down on it, but I wish I could still see out the window. There's a glow-in-the-dark star stuck on the wall near my head. Before I go to sleep, I'll run my fingers over it, feel the smooth, cool plastic, see if the light reflects on my hand, make a wish, and look at it until I can no longer keep my eyes open.

Sleeping. We go to sleep, or drift away to sleep, or fall asleep... always moving. Can I just stay in one place and become sleeping? I'm too tired to go anywhere.

Notes on an almost-spring day at 11:58 p.m.