It's never too late.

And I mean flushed in the non-bathroom sort of way

Weighing my pockets with stones of longing

Especially when those days are Saturday and Sunday.

They always come crawling back

It was a gorgeous day today! Unfortunate, though, since all the ice on the rinks melted and I don't know that Theo and I will get to do our pillow-sumo-games. I feel bad about that.

Last night I went over to his room to do homework, hoping to play outside afterward and then go to sleep together for mid-week comfort. While I was there working on Latin flashcards, Emily came over and hung out a bit--she seemed really comfortable just being there reading a magazine and I think that's really great. Seth was there too for a while working on DVD fest plans with Theo. It was really late by the time they cleared out, so Theo just curled up next to me for a bit.

I should have probably gone home at that point and gotten overnight things and come back and slept, but of course I didn't. We ended up talking about our feelings for each other and comfort touch inevitably became more passionate. However inconvenient the ease of that transition is in us, I will always appreciate its intensity and what it says about how wrapped up we are. I took a moment to list things that I love about him, and it seemed to have a big emotional effect on him. He later paused to tell me how intense that was for him and I was so glad to have shared something that I feel all the time when he tells me those things...

Theo was all too generous to me that night. But I definitely would not have had it otherwise. That boy has some talent for hitting spots, body and soul. When I let myself think about it, it's hard for me to comprehend how in love with him I am.

We shared something powerful, and I slept before I could even think about going home, exhausted, entangled in my feelings and Theo's arms. In the morning I couldn't stop shivering, and thinking about leaving made me want to cry. I kept pawing at Theo, trying to be in contact with more of him so I could just be absorbed and not have to face the outside world. He was still so tired that I just felt like a nuisance, so eventually I willed myself to get dressed. I am really not good at getting on with things after nights like that.

I am reminded of and disturbed by how when we're making love sometimes I sound like I am crying. Does it mean anything?

Anyway, class went fine and I napped for about two and a half more hours afterward. I got up in time to do that psych experiment for Lisa but she was running behind. I got to talk a little with Alexis, but there's some kind of distance between us that is sadly awkward. I got a package today like I'd hoped, but it was X-files tapes from home and not the stuff I ordered. I hope I get that soon because that will make me feel better, give me new distractions. Granted, X-files does that, but "the thrill is gone."

I fell asleep on the couch after folk dance too. I must be really burnt out. I'm going to try to do my Latin before I really sleep, and maybe I'll actually get to read my History before class tomorrow. I'd really like to. I'm scared of going to class. I sent Theo an apology for being weird this morning and he wrote back:

Allison - I was sorry to see you go this morning. Though a very busy weekend lies ahead, I hope to wake up by your side again.

Let's catch up soon ok?

-Theo

I did see him at dinner, briefly, and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Hopefully he will interpret that as me being smitten and not just creepy.

Here's to getting through tomorrow.

~Allie

Eternally Sleepy at 10:42 p.m.